Uncertainty

by Heloise Gevers

Things do not always go according to plan and we all face constant change as we navigate life.
Whether it is moving to a new school or grade, moving houses, changing friendship groups,
divorce or even global pandemics - change is unavoidable. Often the effect of change on
children is underestimated.

Ways to identify feelings of uncertainty in children

Emotional responses may include anxiety, fear, crying, anger and frustration,
meltdowns and tantrums.

Behavioural responses may include withdrawing, avoiding certain situations, being
hesitant, struggling to follow instructions, not listening or paying attention and
aggressive behaviours such as hitting or throwing things.

How can you help your child to feel more certain even when things are unpredictable?
Children need support and guidance from caregivers to help them understand and cope with
uncertainty.

Here are a few ways to support children when they face uncertainty

Maintain family routines- Children thrive when they have structure, routines and clear
boundaries. Structure and routine create predictability.
Talk about feelings- Talk about how things affect them and how they feel in an age appropriate
way. Validate their experiences and concerns by talking to them about
what is happening and how it has affected them.
Help your children feel in control when possible- Let them decide what they would
like to wear, what is for lunch or what family activity to do over the weekend. Provide
them with options, for example “you have to wash your face, but you can choose if
you want to use the green or purple face cloth”.

Children may feel more hopeful knowing they are heard, what they can expect and that they
still have influence over their lives in the midst of uncertainty.